The latest casualty of the Labour leadership coronation has bemoaned having a posh name today.
Described by many as talking the most sense since Labour lost the election and advocating a broad spectrum of policies to form a one-nation coalition of beliefs, Tristram Hunt has announced he is changing his name.
'Why? Why?!? What possibly possessed my parents, one of whom was a Labour peer by the way, to call me fucking Tristram?'
'Could they not have called me James or Michael or even fucking Jeff?'
'No, they had to go with pissing Tristram. Which is what they call me in Scotland incidentally. 'Hey look, it's pissing Tristram.' Even posh names like Benedict or Marcellus can be Ben or Mark.
'But Tristram? Tris? That's like saying 'Please, call me cunt or twat, I don't mind which.'
'So I'm changing it to Dan. Everyone knows a Dan. And most of them aren't bastards.'
Described by many as talking the most sense since Labour lost the election and advocating a broad spectrum of policies to form a one-nation coalition of beliefs, Tristram Hunt has announced he is changing his name.
'Why? Why?!? What possibly possessed my parents, one of whom was a Labour peer by the way, to call me fucking Tristram?'
'Could they not have called me James or Michael or even fucking Jeff?'
'No, they had to go with pissing Tristram. Which is what they call me in Scotland incidentally. 'Hey look, it's pissing Tristram.' Even posh names like Benedict or Marcellus can be Ben or Mark.
'But Tristram? Tris? That's like saying 'Please, call me cunt or twat, I don't mind which.'
'So I'm changing it to Dan. Everyone knows a Dan. And most of them aren't bastards.'