A time traveller from the year 1985 has committed suicide it has been reported.
Martin 'Marty' McFly, of Hill Valley California, arrived today in a flying DeLorean with the hope of seeing a magnificent future.
'This can't be happening!' said McFly.
'Where are the virtual waiters? And the 3D movies you don't have to wear glasses for and get a splitting headache?'
'Where are the hoverboards, the virtual glasses, the self tying sneakers, the bionic implants and Max Headroom?'
'You all just stare at rectangles of plastic taking photos of spaghetti bolognese and showing them to strangers while meeting random people from an 'internet' whatever that is for casual sex.'
'Ok the last bit sounds good. But the rest is hideous! I'm ending it with this glass bottle of 'Bacardi Breezer?' What the fuck is that?!?