Recep Erdoğan, Turkish President and leader of the AKP party, has celebrated his party being reelected with a majority it has been announced.
Speaking to political pundits on Turkish television's top neutral political program 'Erdoğan Enthuses', the President said 'This is the victory our nation needed.'
'I will of course, as President, remain completely unbiassed. I don't care who in the AKP Party becomes Prime Minister. It's my party after all so, you know, whoever.'
'As long as they swear their allegiance to me personally, er, in my capacity of President of course, then we can see a renewed, Ottoman islamist state.'
'And cover up your hair you filthy whore. You are inflaming my private gentleman's area.'
'In fact, just go home. Are there any men that can interview me?'