The Russian aircrash over Egypt has lead to international calls to improve aircraft safety it has been announced.
Head of the International Air Safety Noard Geoff Hundt said 'Despite this plane being an Airbus, maintenance was severely substandard.'
'Initial reports show that valves were replaced with old kitchen sink taps, the electricity generator was a 1974 Lada Riva engine and the landing gear doors had been replaced with metal moulded from the fillings of the teeth of dissidents.'
'We would suggest that this is generally not what should be used to repair a plane. Perhaps genuine parts would be a suitable alternative.'
'Or, if you had any sense, you would travel via Russia's safest form of transport. The horse and cart. As long as it isn't rutting season.'
'Last years incident where a Siberian woman was mistaken for the mare still informs most of our nightmares to this day.'