Ghosts and poltergeists are dressing up as lunatics Psychic Sally and Derek Acorah for Halloween it has been announced.
A free floating apparition in Speke Hall, Liverpool called Geoff said 'It's traditional that you dress up as what scares you.'
'Well, Psychic Sally scares the shit out of me. She 'channels' the dead to inform the living of how they are coping with the afterlife.'
'Let me tell you, channelling is really painful! My arse isn't right for weeks afterwards. And Derek Acorah is just weird looking.'
'But scariest of all is how they scam money out of idiots to talk to ghosts like me because that isn't actually possible, on account of me being fictional.'