TV chef Hugh Twistleton-Smythe has stated that he is unable to cook with any ingedients bought from any of the big 4 supermarkets.
When looking for seasoning Twistleton-Smythe
commented 'I couldn't believe it. I searched and searched Bering
Straights Arctic Crystal Crushed Sea-Salt and couldn't find it
anywhere. All I could find where these white tubes of something
called 'Salt'. They also didn't seem to stock Sub-Saharan Tropical
Air Dried Peppercorns. How does anyone season anything?
The chef said he had found the entire
experience distressing, saying he would have to find his nanny for
comfort.
'I mean, what is this strange white plastic
wrapped cube labelled 'Cheese'. What do these people do with them? I
think they may be bricks. Yes, they must build their houses out of
them'.
Brian Brianson, chairman of the UK
Psycho-Analysts Association went on the record to state this was a
growing problem and had now been recognised as a psychological
condition. 'We are seeing an increase of TV chefs suffering from a
sort of dis-associative disorder from visiting supermarkets which we
have named Twatty Chef Syndrome. Unfortunately we envisage no
reduction in cases in the future'.