Spokesman for the RMT Union, Harold Oldbury, has said that all his drivers should be allowed to drive wankered on vodka.
London tube drivers, who earn £50,000 per annum and are in the top 5% of UK earners need the vodka to deal with the boredom apparently.
'It's tedious.' Oldbury said. 'All you do is push a handle for 8 hours a day while reading the newspaper instead of looking at the track for obstacles and signs of danger. You need something to get you through the day.'
He continued 'We supply 60% Russian paint thinner to our drivers. And they really aren't paid enough for that tedium. So we are going to strike again, demand a doubling of salary and ticket prices will rise to fifty quid for one stop. But we're worth it. Londoners can afford it.'
Despite the average wage of passengers being £25,000, Oldbury believes his drivers provide a service of value to all customers and that they are completely safe in their hands.