1) The Hugly
Imagine if a sandal and a trainer had a drunken rutting session before vomitting. This bastard sandal trainer hybrid is the must have for wandering around London parks and Covent Garden in the pissing rain.
2) Pronouncing ' Quinoa' correctly.
No, we don't know what it is either. But pronounced Kin-Wah will get you nods of approval and an invitation from a Shoreditch resident to an exclusive art installation made from recycled bean bags.
3) Poutine
Northerners have known about this for years in another form. Essentially cheesey chips and gravy, this Canadian import version adds pulled pork or kimchi for that extra flair of twattery.
4) Charcoal Cleanse.
Liquid charcoal (!) supposedly absorbs toxins and bad stuff and is therefore an aid to weight loss. Despite the fact that numerous studies show we don't have to 'cleanse' or 'detox' because we do it naturally. It's called shitting and pissing.
5) Fendi sunglasses
A curious design that makes you look like an owl that has been on an all night bender with a variety of amphetamines. Priced close to the value of your car, these are the must have eye protectors for cunts.