McDonalds has announced that, after profits continue to fall, they will start making their breakfasts out of actual foodstuffs.
Previous attempts to produce a wholesome, nourishing breakfast for a low cost have failed because producing food actually costs money.
'We ended up relying heavily on over salted dust and peppered cardboard, mushed up with water with some paprika thrown in, and then deep fried' said a restaurant representative, Mr. R. McDonald.
'You then shape it, add colourings and there you have your double sausage and eggs bagel meal.'
'Who knew the customers actually wanted sausage and egg? So we thought we'd give it a try and it's been quite successful!'
'Next stop, burgers made of meat and not brillo pads.'