A husband has been told in no uncertain terms that he does not deserve a cake baked for him after spending 2 hours up to his elbows in shitty water.
After flushing three used toilet roll tubes down the toilet, Colin Miles blocked his toilet for half a day before his wife's impending defecation blew his secret out of the rancid water.
'I don't know why I thought I would get away with it.' said Colin.
'I just hoped in those couple of hours the cardboard would have somehow been digested by the water.'
'Having your wife taking a dump in the camping toilet whilst screaming like a hell beast is motivation enough to roll your sleeves up and get dirty.'
'Two hours and seven vomitting episodes later and it was cleared. I was exhausted. And I really wanted cake.'
'But, and in reteospect correctly, if I wanted cake I should have 'gone to the fucking shop and bought it yourself along with a gun to shoot yourself in the head with.' Apparently.'