All office workers are to be permitted to do their job from the comfort of their beds it has been announced.
It has been shown by studies that a comfortable worker is an effective worker.
Ash Kennedy, an administrator from Kent said 'This is a lifelong ambition.'
'I have campaigned for this for some time. Well, I would have campaigned for it but my bed was far too comfy to get out of to bother to do anything about it.'
'I look forward to dealing with paperwork whilst trying not to spill a precariously balanced cup of coffee all over it or getting toast grease on the pages.'
'I am particularly pleased to get the opportunity to avoid using fingers that stink of Pickled Onion Monster Munch to file important briefs.'
'The opportunity to lie like the slovenly lazy bastard I am, in my own filth and get paid for it, is a dream come true. All I have to do now is drill a hole in the base of my bed with a bucket underneath and I need never leave my bed ever again. Bliss!'