Apple has announced it has ended indentured servitude in its chinese factories and assembly plants.
Until now workers were required to pay up front for the right to work for Apple.
Spokesman for Apple, Victor Git, said 'After 20 years of becoming one of the biggest tech companies in the world we feel it's time to put some of our profits into treating some of our workers slightly like humans and less like cattle.'
He continued 'Please believe me, they will still be underpaid and forced to work 14 hour days with no breaks. We will still bring you the same, easily breakable, overpriced products and serve huge profits to our shareholders. And we can say that we are a slavery free business which makes us look good too. Plus, we will continue to call our store employees Geniuses when they blatantly aren't so you can laugh at them. We're nice like that.'
Michael Mbala of the Stop Slavery Alliance said 'Well with this stopping of indentured servitude you are really spoiling us. Yessa Massa. Cunts.'