Members of the SAS regiment have been injured in a freak dog attack it has emerged.
A requisition order for balaclavas was made with the regiment quarter master but supplied the squad with baklava instead.
'It's not funny' said a soldier we can only call Soldier A. 'We we're on a stake out of ISIS positions and all we had to obscure our features were yummy filo and nut treats. So we smeared them on our faces.'
He continued 'Then a pack of rabid dogs approached and chewed my mates lips off. I barely got away with my nose intact. And Soldier C has no eyebrows.'
Squad quartermaster, Sergeant D said 'This is what happens with budget cuts. I'm down to supplying equipment that sounds like what is needed. Yesterday I sent out a Rocket. Leaf.'