Angela Merkel and François Hollande will today meet with Vladimir Putin and tell him he is a bad, bad man.
A spokesman for both leaders said 'Make no mistake. Today we will let Vladimir Putin know that we are really quite cross. He has been a naughty boy and Mummy and Daddy are very cross.'
Putin's spokesman, Boris Sukvladov said in response 'President Putin nearly soiled himself laughing when he found out they were coming. So far the 'sanctions' have been against people who largely had very few assets and influence. Yes, oil prices are tanking but the President is a multi - millionaire. He doesn't give two shits.'
These talks are on the backs of the NATO announcement of a 5000 man strong rapid reaction force, first announced 6 months ago and still not ready for deployment.
'It's funny' said General Valery Gerasimov, head of Russian armed forces. 'I just cough and 10,000 men run across the Ukrainian border. I am really quaking in my boots and I've got a girls name too.'
