All golf tournaments will be televised by Sky and BT in a new landmark deal.
The 2 companies bidded on the rights for a 3 year period and have agreed to pay the astonomical sum of 4oz of pork scratchings.
A spokesman for the combined bid said 'To be honest, I think we got carried away. The rights are only worth 4 stale old peanuts that have been sitting on the bar for 12 months but we went all out.'
He continued 'The viewership of any golf tournament is at least 7 people. Some say it's not the most popular of sports. Most have no idea what a birdie or albatross is. In fact most people would argue they are the same. And the ridiculous trousers and expensive golf bats mean nobody in their right mind plays this stupid game. But we pushed the boat out for our loyal fans. And his dog.'
