1) The Caveman Diet
This eating regimen is without doubt one that will help you shift the pounds for spring. And here's how. Head for your nearest peat bog and start digging. This is energy intensive and will shift pounds. Eventually you will find a partially preserved pre-historic caveman. Chow down on his rancid flesh and after you have stopped hurling everywhere you will never want to eat agai.
2) The GI Diet
This is surprisingly similar to the Caveman diet. Go to Vietnam and dig up an American GI. Consume, retch, never eat again.
3) Weight Watchers
This plan has had a recent rejuvenation and its effectiveness is now without doubt. Head for your local gym and lay out the dumbbells from largest to smallest and sit down. And watch them. Constantly. Without a break. After 3 days without food or drink you will slip into a coma and need to be fed intravenously and the weight will just slip away. As may your life.
4) Slimming World
A bit of a stretch to make this one work for you but it is achieveable. Head for a binary star system with a planet between the 2 stars. As the stars head closer they will stretch the planet and make it thinner, along with yourself and it will literally be a slimming world. The high temperature, pressure and lack of oxygen may be an issue but hey, no pain, no gain!
5) Lighter Life
A very easy diet to follow but can lead to inconvenience. Attach 20 helium filled balloons to yourself and when you weight yourself it will be considerably lower. It really is a lighter life. Can be inconvenient going through doorways.
