HSBC's Swiss banking arm, which has been accused of knowingly aiding tax evasion of businesses and criminals, has insisted they are a nice company worth banking with.
A spokesman said 'It's quite simple. We really love cute animals. Puppies are so cute with their little noses and little eyes and they snuffle about. Awwww cute! And kittens. They are just gorgeous. They have lovely big eyes and look at you all innocent and I just want to give them lots of love and hugs.'
When pushed on the banks' behaviours towards big business and criminal gangs and their systematic use of tax evasion policies, the spokesman said 'But what about ickle micropigs. They are soooooo cute. Please don't send me to the prison where they use your arsehole as a broom stand.'
