A recent survey on UK eating out habits has shown most people are both confused and scared by Bistros.
Over 91% of respondents could not define a bistro in a single sentence. Many people had breakdowns whilst trying to define the eatery.
Louise Sauron, 28 of Mordor, a responder to the survey, said to us, 'I know what a coffee shop does. It's in the name. And I know that I can have very light snacks there too like paninis or cakes. Restaurant? Well a 3 course meal in most cases. But when you go into a bistro it's small and it looks like a coffee shop but they serve full plate meals. Except, there's only about 5 choices. And they are stupidly expensive. And there aren't proper starters or puddings. It's like someone bought a coffee shop and has tried to shoe-horn in proper meals but have failed like a big fucking twat.'
Bistro owner Oliver Hove-Colton said 'It's a sustainance experience. We are attempting to fuse the informal settee ambience and mellow aromas of a coffee shop with the exquisite flavours and textures of gastronomic superiority expected from a Michelin starred restaurant.'
We put this response to Louise and she said, 'Like I said, big fucking twat.'
