Ukraine has taken to sitting in the corner of the playground and crying because of the school bully picking on him and the big kid saying he will give him stones to throw back.
'All I want is some personal space like I used to have' said Ukraine.
'That Russia kid has always been a bit pesky but recently he knicked my PS4 and has given me the hardest dead arm I've ever had. I can hardly move my right arm now.'
Ukraine continued, 'That big kid America who said he is my 'friend' took a Mars Bar off Russia but it didn't help. He keeps saying he will give me stones to throw at Russia but Russia's got rocks. All America has to do is nick his pocket money and give him a massive wedgie but he won't. He's worried in case he runs out of Twix's and Russia has some to sell.'
Ukraine is only 4ft 6in with hand me down clothes and just wants to choose his own friends. But Russia, with his total inability to attract girls and having strange feelings towards boys he can't explain and is scared of, wants Ukraine as his bitch. The headmaster, Mr. UN, has been informed but so far has done fuck all.
