Journalist for the Daily Mail, Clive Gordon, has been murdered by the Northern Mafia it emerged today.
Mr. Gordon yesterday published an article with a northern business man. In it he quoted the businessman as saying 'It's a great joy that me mum and dad saw this achievement.'
A press release issued by the Northern Mafia read thus:
'When a northern person says 'me' to mean 'my', this is just an element of speech. Ask a northern person to spell that sentence and they would write 'my' as anyone else would.'
'To spell words phonetically is deeply patronising and makes the assumption that South East English is somehow the default and is to be copied.'
'When you insist on pronouncing grass and bath as 'grarss' and 'barth' we do not phonetically spell them. Even though you show no consistency with this odd pronunciation. And that's a farct. Sorry, fact.'
'So stop being big cunty twats will you.'