New research has shown parents are blind to their children waddling.
Paula Maryson, 26, who's child is in the 99th percentile of weight said 'My little Zara gets plenty of fruit and veg.'
She continued 'And pizza, burgers, chocolate, sweets and anything else she asks for as it's an easy life isn't it?
'Surely it's better to bribe them into shutting the fuck up rather than actually talking to them, nurturing them and setting boundaries.'
'Then I can go and spend all my child benefit getting pissed and buying clothes for myself from Primark whilst her grandparents look after her. You know, like all good parents do.'
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic said 'We have been campaigning for sterilization of people who blatantly can't or won't look after their kids. But apparently that's too much like Hitler. He really did ruin all the cool things didn't he?'
