Conservative Minister without Portfolio and much hated bastard Grant Shapps today announced a new government initiative that he hopes will secure his party an election victory in May.
‘We’re going to scrap the 1970s’ he said.
'Get rid of the whole thing, gone forever. It’s often been described as the decade fashion forgot, and now it will be the decade we can all forget’ he chortled.
He then added ‘this is a policy that is good for the future of Britain. Look, all the celebrities were paedos and the food tasted like cardboard so no one will miss it’ he blurted.
‘Plus everyone born before 1980 will be younger and we’ll save a fortune on pensions and bus passes’ he wheezed as he ran for the nearest exit.
The Labour shadow Minister without Portfolio who happened to be following right behind offered an immediate rebuttal.
‘He must have been smoking crack’ he panted, ‘or have eaten magic mushroom risotto for tea. He’s lost his mind, gone bananas and made himself look like a proper tit’ he splurted as he quickly followed the Minister out of the building.
Labour later released a statement saying that if they win the election they will keep all of the policy commitments made but might consider keeping 1977 as Star Wars was released that year.
When the idea received positive coverage later in the day Liberal Democrat Minister without a hope of re-election Nigel Someone said that the whole policy was a Lib Dem idea and was in their manifesto.
They were also looking to erase other unpopular decades like the 1950s and the 2000s.
‘Only a vote for the Liberal Democrats can guarantee that important decades like the 1940 and 1960s are preserved', he said in an unprompted outburst.
'Our coalition partners will get rid of the whole 20th century without us to keep them in check, please vote for us someone.’
Noddy Holder was unavailable for comment.