Grand Designs' Keving McCloud and Amazing Spaces' George Clarke are on parole tonight for breaching a new capital offence.
Charged with Unnecessary and Annoying Use of The Word 'Space', both face death by bollock removal.
Speaking at their first hearing, George Clarke said 'I am innocent of this crime. This is something I would never do. And this is an amazing legal space.'
And Kevin McCloud echoed these comments. 'I feel that we are being unfairly targetted. It does not create the right sense of space we need to defend ourselves.'
Prosecuting barrister Jeffrey Slow said 'For a number of years now we have had to tolerate cooking spaces instead of kitchens, sleeping spaces instead if bedrooms and shitting spaces instead of toilets. No more.'
He continued 'This insistence on using space instead of room is the recourse of the weak of mind, the pretentious of heart and the twat of spirit. It ends. Now.'