Millions of workers across the UK will today demand their working day finishes an hour early to make up for the hour lost over the weekend.
British Summer Time, when the clocks go forward, means people only got 47 hours away from their work.
'It's not long enough' said office worker Phil Davies.
'I hate work as it is. I need the full 48 hours to imbibe a vat of 12p per unit Kazakhstani vodka made from fermented weeds and petrol to annihilate the memory of the cripplingly hideous week before.'
'I won't make it through this week. I need that extra hour. Please, please give it me back. I can't wait 6 months!'
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic said this was not unusual.
'Once a worker hits 30 and realises their life and work is solely to make someone else richer, alcohol is the key to survival.'
'The message is simple. Get Cunted or Die Trying.'