John Simm, method actor and star of The Lakes, Life On Mars and Intruders, has annoyed his final fan.
Jess Martin, 37 from Manchester said 'I first saw John in 'Human Traffic' and I was into the rave scene at the time. The film spoke to me.'
She continued 'I hadn't really noticed that he gives the same, identical and wooden performance in everything he does.'
'I loved that film so much I couldn't see past what a talentless shit he was.'
'He takes himself so seriously. When he's interviewed you can tell he thinks acting is a real job and somehow important.'
'All my friends would point this out to me. "He's a bell end, he uses Stanislavski's Method" they would say but it fell on deaf ears.'
'Then last night he was in 'Code of a Killer'. And it was so dull, so slow, so eye gougingly shite that the curtain dropped and I saw him for what he is.'
'A pretentious little gobshite. Just fuck off John Simm.'