Refugees fleeing abject poverty, war and genocide across the Mediterranean have signalled their gratitude to expand their skills.
Tayeb Bakr, 38 and fleeing from religious persecution said 'After days of little light, oxygen, food or water, we realised we had to do something when the ship started to sink.'
He continued 'The EU has kindly laid on 5 ships, a rowing boat and a clockwork rubber duck to help find us in a vast sea.'
'Unfortunately they hadn't found us yet so we had to do a bit of swimming. Thank god I had four knawed finger nails for breakfast and some stagnant piss.'
'I have now swam enough to achieve my 50 metre crawl, freestyle, breaststroke and back stroke certificates. I am very grateful. Honest.'
When we pointed out that, had the EU reacted years ago by using many more ships, and investing in Africa, would have meant this crisis could have been averted, Mr. Bakr was philosophical.
'Never mind. Better late than never.'
And all the people who have drowned needlessly?
'Oh no, those people lying face down in the water for the past three hours are just having a nice little rest. You cunts.'
Tayeb Bakr, 38 and fleeing from religious persecution said 'After days of little light, oxygen, food or water, we realised we had to do something when the ship started to sink.'
He continued 'The EU has kindly laid on 5 ships, a rowing boat and a clockwork rubber duck to help find us in a vast sea.'
'Unfortunately they hadn't found us yet so we had to do a bit of swimming. Thank god I had four knawed finger nails for breakfast and some stagnant piss.'
'I have now swam enough to achieve my 50 metre crawl, freestyle, breaststroke and back stroke certificates. I am very grateful. Honest.'
When we pointed out that, had the EU reacted years ago by using many more ships, and investing in Africa, would have meant this crisis could have been averted, Mr. Bakr was philosophical.
'Never mind. Better late than never.'
And all the people who have drowned needlessly?
'Oh no, those people lying face down in the water for the past three hours are just having a nice little rest. You cunts.'