After reports a Russian nuclear submarine was on fire emerged, the world has collectively shrugged and said 'Yeah, so?'
Despite the danger, the planet has become numb to Russian stuff generally being shit and bursting into flames.
Speaking from his potting shed, International Specialist James Doorjam said 'Why is this even news?'
'The Russian populace is a vodka soaked, pseudo-communofascist bunch of semi trained chronic depressives.'
He continued 'Since the end of the Cold War the country as a whole has got poorer. Underpants are made from discarded cabbage stems.'
'And the country only has one functioning pen. And even that is one of those fake biros that leaves blobby bits of blue ink on your hands that you then get on your shirt, which, incidentally, is made of potato sacks.'
'Wouldn't a better news item be 'Russian thing works for entire day without rusting/collapsing/exploding/being eaten by bear?''
