After an unexpected and withering defeat at the hands of a bastard public schoolboy, Ed Miliband is still unable to speak like a normal person.
'I think this is really important, and this is the key point here, and I think the voters would agree, and hard working families also, and the real question is this, and I agree with your point, and the key issue is this.'
Personal Assistant to Miliband, Ken Funt said 'He has been like that for months.'
'He has yet to complete a normal sentence since he started as Labour leader.'
'It's just been getting worse until last night, as the results came in, and he got caught in a sort of loop.'
'I guess that's what happenes when you are born Labour, had an infant membership to the Mini-Bevans, child membership to the Junior-Kinnocks and a job in the party since you were 16.'
'No fucking clue how to be normal. Pity. Not for him. For us. We're fucked for another 5 years.'