Gary Lineker is slowly turning into a lothario and cad who frequents the Riviera and lives at other people's expense it has emerged.
With his silver hair and salt and pepper beard, he stands outside bars in Nice and Monaco in a white linen suit and matching fedora chatting up the rich but desperate divorcees.
'He told me how he was the number one sport presenter in all of Britain' said Countess Penelope de Quimper.
'He asked if I could loan him my 1967 E-Type Jaguar whilst insinuating he would ravish me afterwards.'
'That was three days ago and both he and my Jaguar are missing. My russian diamond necklace that was in my room has also disappeared but surely that's a coincidence.'
'Oh come back Gary! I love you!'
With his silver hair and salt and pepper beard, he stands outside bars in Nice and Monaco in a white linen suit and matching fedora chatting up the rich but desperate divorcees.
'He told me how he was the number one sport presenter in all of Britain' said Countess Penelope de Quimper.
'He asked if I could loan him my 1967 E-Type Jaguar whilst insinuating he would ravish me afterwards.'
'That was three days ago and both he and my Jaguar are missing. My russian diamond necklace that was in my room has also disappeared but surely that's a coincidence.'
'Oh come back Gary! I love you!'