Never Mind the Buzzcocks, BBC2's life support system for the almost talented, has finally been cancelled.
Speaking from her office in New Broadcasting House, Kim Shillinglaw, controller of BBC2, said 'It's time to lay this lame duck to rest.'
'It had some moments in its early life when we were able to hide Mark Lamarr's lack of talent behind a quiff and good script writing.'
'Then came Simon Amstell and no amount of crafting an amazing joke can hide the complete absence of affability emanating from his stupid face.'
'It's been on life support since. At least there will be less Phill Jupitus on our screens.'
'If ever there was a man who gets a small laugh then runs with it for a painful amount of time until the audience is just laughing out of embarrassment, it's that boring doofus.'