The release of Prince Charles's Black Spider Memos has led to uproar in the arachnid community.
'We thought finally we may be getting some good press' said Esmerelda, a black widow spider.
'A public figure to stand up for us and our rights to posion people at will. But no. No mention of spiders at all. Pathetic.'
Asked if she would like more memos released, Esmeralda said 'What's the point?'
'We never get mentioned. Oh yes there was a crustacean in there, something about sustainable crab fishing.'
'But who gives a shit about them with their pincers and yummy flesh. They're tasty not scary. Equality for scary fucking creepy things now!