Those who put salt in porridge or who eat salted popcorn are massive twats it was announced today.
In interviews conducted across the country 97% of people said that those who claim to prefer salt are pretending to be tough.
'Sweet popcorn is lovely.' said Dave Judd from Coventry.
'It goes down really easy and even makes those horrid bits of kernal you get left in your mouth palatable.'
'But salting it? That's for men who lack confidence and were bullied as kids and are trying to look hard.'
'You know, policemen.'
And Jim Grant agreed. 'Salted porridge? No. Just no. Even the Scottish who pretend to prefer salt secretely put sugar into salt shakers.'
'People who say they prefer salt are massive twats.'
'You know, like policemen.'