Reports that teenage boys are becoming addicted to video games, porn and ritalin have lead to a collective teenage shrug.
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic said 'We performed a huge study over a number of years.'
'Our first task was to create a new language based on synchronised grunting to communicate with the boys.'
'Once that was complete, we asked the boys if there we're problems with their lifestyle.'
'The conclusion was the ritalin gives them the concentration and energy for 12 hour long gaming sessions before wanking themselves blind.'
'I has to enter their rooms in bio-hazard suits. The amount of crusty socks and stiff bed sheets was horrific.'
'It was like there had been a jizz monsoon.'
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic said 'We performed a huge study over a number of years.'
'Our first task was to create a new language based on synchronised grunting to communicate with the boys.'
'Once that was complete, we asked the boys if there we're problems with their lifestyle.'
'The conclusion was the ritalin gives them the concentration and energy for 12 hour long gaming sessions before wanking themselves blind.'
'I has to enter their rooms in bio-hazard suits. The amount of crusty socks and stiff bed sheets was horrific.'
'It was like there had been a jizz monsoon.'