The Daily Mail and Alex Salmond competed yesterday to see who could out-cunt each other.
Responding to the tragic death of universally acclaimed statesman Charles Kennedy, the Daily Mail ran the headline 'It was the drink that got him.'
Not to be outdone, Alex Salmond said that Charles Kennedy's heart had not been in the Better Together campaign and that he would have reconciled himself with scottish independence.
Salmond, who despite saying Kennedy was a nice man, cannot accept that nice people could be unionists, went on to say that post election had been a dark time for Kennedy despite his closest friends saying he was upbeat and ready to get back into politics.
We showed these comments to the first person we could find in the street
'Astonishing.' they said.
'Maybe Salmond should launch the Scottish Daily Mail in an office in Glasgow and that way we could find, at any time, where the greatest concentration of univeral cuntiness is. What a bunch of fucking bell ends.'