George Galloway has refused to throw his hat into the ring for the London Mayor race due his his serial hat wearing.
Refusing to take off his black fedora, Election Commission head Sir James Droon said 'Without performing this action he cannot stand.'
'Everyone knows George is bald. Pictures of his receding hairline are legendary. I fear he used to convince himself he had a high forehead rather than a massive slaphead.'
And Galloway critic Ash Kennedy concurred.
'George likes to think of himself as the next Ghandi or Nelson Mandela. Well Ghandi wore what amounted to a nappy and Mandela wore any old shite if he thought it would connect him to his people.'
'Perhaps Galloway can wear a sense of humility on his sleeve.'
'Ooooh, burn!'