China's communist one child policy was tested to its limit this past week as a video of a couple engaged in coitus went viral.
Using the changing room in the Uniqlo clothing store, the young couple gave in to their natural human desires in a flagrant disregard for Chinese etiquette rules.
'This is an intolerable situation' said Interior Minister Mr. Chen Wei-zen.
'We prescribe how our people should live whilst conversely giving them any material goods they could want. We think that should be enough and in no way spark a desire for more.'
'Intercourse should be performed briefly and quietly in a darkened room. There must be no joy in it. Well I have never enjoyed it.'
'A foreign dignitary once told me I really should get laid by a large breasted woman. But I prefer the company of my male colleagues. In our communal steam rooms. And if that's good enough for me, it's good enough for everyone.'