The Daily Telegraph has asserted itself as larger pieces of toilet paper than the Daily Mail today.
Treading a fine line between legitimate news outlet and an anti-democratic arse absorbent, the paper finally nailed it's flag to the mast.
'It's time we showed our true colours' said editor Chris Evans.
'My tax bill is huge. I'm paying 45% at the moment and I can't fudge it into dividends and just pay 20% capital gains instead.'
'It's not good enough. Fuck democracy. Permanent Tory rule for a fairer, richer Britain for everyone, and by everyone, I mean rich people.'
'So spend three quid registering to vote the Labour leadership and vote for that nutjob apologist and journalist shouter Jeremy Corbyn.'
'Yes he might actually hold the Conservatives to account for a short while better than any of his fellow competitors.'
'But he will put his foot in his mouth sooner or later and say something that would make Arthur Scargill and Derek Hatton squirm like lets nationalise Marks & Spencer or something.'
'So, ignore the will of those he may represent and vote Corbyn for a calamitous country.'