The US Military is in such a state of confusion over who it's fighting and why in the Middle East it has issued a new standing order.
Called Order Number 666, it states you may engage 'if target is reasonably suspected or being swarthy, brown and generally suspicious looking.'
Corporal Rich Robertson said 'Out here I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm black and that actually helps. I'm far too dark to be a member of ISIL'
'But I know Major Chris Jeffrey is worried. He's mixed race. He's already dodged three friendly fire incidents.'
'But we are hoth going to stay. It's safer than back home where we are both completely guilty of being maliciously black with intent to force you to shoot us for no reason.'
'Better to dodge bullets from badly trained soldiers than hicks with revolvers, confederate flags and imaginary grudges.'
'Besides, at least they pretend we aren't cannon fodder here. Which is nice of them.'