A 92 year old American woman has been banned from attending her lifelong church for not titheing enough during her lifetime it has been revealed.
Titheing, where one pays a set percentagd of your income to the church, amounts to nothing more than heaven bribery, a tax on peoples fear of death.
'Unfortunately our ministry has need of a Rolls Royce and private jet to spread the word of God to the Bahamas, Tahiti, and the Seychelles' said Pastor Jeff Kunndt.
'This woman, who claims to have given as much as she could, has recently been found to have a savings account of $15,000 to give to her daughter as a deposit on a house.'
'With that money we could have paid for the fuel to Goa in India for a two week beach retreat.'
'Until she gives it to me, I have informed God to send her to hell. I believe the cheque is in the post.'