Professional rectum speaker and generic revolution goader Russell Brand has backed Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the Labour party.
The latest polls suggest this has led to everyone abandoning Mr. Corbyn, including himself, with the exception of Russell Brand.
'I think I am going to have to pull out of the race.' said Mr. Corbyn.
'I hadn't seen it myself, but there must be some element of my campaign that is deeply floored and destructive in the extreme.'
'It is the only reason Russell Brand backs anything. He can see it's potential for absolute chaos and anarchy from which he assumes there will be a revolution of indeterminate outcome.'
'He really is a tit in a beard. I'm going to shave.'