Lord Janner, who has been hiding behind a dementia diagnosis, will arrive in court as expected today.
Lord Janner's dementia is described as being in the early stages and it is therefore not an act of cruelty to bring him to court.
Nevertheless, persuading him to attend has not been easy.
'We have used his own tactics against him. He would lure boys with sweeties and puppies and we have done the same. That's what that line of Sherbert Saucers and Fizzy Cola Bottles is.'
'As an added incentive, standing just inside the door to the court room will be a month old Labrador. And a man called 'Biff' with a pair of nipple electrodes.'