School kids are demanding £300 daily just for turning up to school it has been announced.
'We don't get a choice and we have to stay all day' said 12 year old Ethan.
'The Lords sign the register and just leave. And get £300 for it. Do you have any idea the amount of Lego Star Wars I could get with that?'
'I'm pretty sure we will be given this money. It seems that all you need is to sit in a big room, listen to some people droning on and try your best not to soil yourself. That's basically morning assembly summed up.'
'And we will spend this money in this country instead of pissing off to the south of France to pay a lithe 19 year old tanned French boy to bathe your elephant skin scrotum in donkey milk.'
'Much better to spend it on Playstation games and software to circumvent your parents porn filters.'