Tony Blair has been warning the Labour party that it faces annihilation if it votes for Jeremy Corbyn as leader.
Speaking exclusively under the influence of sodium penthathol to TMG Mr. Blair said 'I know a thing or two about annihilation.'
'All the signs are here. The bomb waiting to go off in the room is socialism. The insurgency is radical leftists rejoining the party. And the cunt waiting to light the touch paper and to hell with the consequences is me.'
'Just ask 100,000 Iraqis if they think I am an expert in these things. Admittedly, they can't answer because they are dead. And that was just to maintain the 'special relationship' and ensure I could earn perverse amounts of money post politics through public speaking.
'But I think it was worth it. As do many soulless dictators I now advise. Don't vote Corbyn. It might lower my income.'