After adult colouring books and adult covers on children's books, the release of adult teething toys has been called a step too far.
Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute, who has done no research on the subject but was seething with so much rage that his face exploded, said 'No, no more, no!'
'I can tolerate the adult colouring books. Yes they are fucking ridiculous and a poncy expression of what a pile of superficial and uneducated tools we have become.'
'But some people are illiterate through no fault of their own and we need something to keep them occupied on public transport so they don't punch grannies and shit on the seats.'
'But adult teething toys? The chewable bits are plastic Cath Kidston spoons, mini plastic jam jars and a chewable independent coffee shop map of Shoreditch.'
'No. Anyone who you see with one may be murdered. I don't have the authority to say that but I dont care.'
'Bludgeon them to death with their stupid fucking chew toys then glass them with their fucking jam jars before smashing their skulls in with whatever spare wheel or bird cage they have just served you an organic bagel on. Just fucking end them.'
Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute, who has done no research on the subject but was seething with so much rage that his face exploded, said 'No, no more, no!'
'I can tolerate the adult colouring books. Yes they are fucking ridiculous and a poncy expression of what a pile of superficial and uneducated tools we have become.'
'But some people are illiterate through no fault of their own and we need something to keep them occupied on public transport so they don't punch grannies and shit on the seats.'
'But adult teething toys? The chewable bits are plastic Cath Kidston spoons, mini plastic jam jars and a chewable independent coffee shop map of Shoreditch.'
'No. Anyone who you see with one may be murdered. I don't have the authority to say that but I dont care.'
'Bludgeon them to death with their stupid fucking chew toys then glass them with their fucking jam jars before smashing their skulls in with whatever spare wheel or bird cage they have just served you an organic bagel on. Just fucking end them.'