A woman was killed today after she mispronounced pedant and a bubble of irony consumed her as penance it has emerged.
A witness, Mr. Ash Kennedy, witnessed the atrocious event.
'She was speaking on the phone and placed the emphasis on the second syllable. She said 'ped-ANT'.
'What is most tragic was she realised her mistake and corrected herself. But it was too late.
An enormous globe of irony descended and absorbed her.'
'She got the last laught though. As her body was consumed, she shouted 'Let's boldly go!'
'She split the fuck out of that infinitive. The irony bubble was pissing fuming.'
