A shop selling essential oils, fragrance sticks and herbal remedies has been arrested for assault it has been revealed.
The Starry Skies in Whitby, North Yorkshire, is being interviewed under caution after office worker Ash Kennedy was dragged in there by his wife and collapsed from the wall of lavender fragrance that greeted his entrance.
'I was overwhelmed by the sheer pungence' said Kennedy.
'I collapsed and smashed my face into a sculpture of a unicorn made from sea shells and driftwood. I still have a piece of mollusc in my skull the surgeons were unable to remove.'
'Can you smell fish? I can. Always. Everywhere. And fucking lavender too. Shops like this are a fucking liability selling shite to people with too much money and not enough sense. Ban them. Ban them now!'
