David Dimbleby this evening massacred the entire Question Time panel with an AK-47, calling them a 'collective of cunts'.
'I've had it.' said Dimbleby. 'I've been doing this show for pissing ages and I can't take it anymore. Just look at tonights panel: Sajid Javid, who wants to water down human rights. Peter Hain, who has bloody hands from the Iraq war. Rhun ap Iorwerth, not even a member of Plaid Cymru when he was parachuted in as their Ynys Mon candidate because he was a famous face on BBC Wales. Kate Maltby, who thinks we have no right to die and should suffer excruciating pain. And Germaine Greer, who has taken to body-shaming women. What a collective of cunts.'
Metropolitan Police spokesperson Ranvir Nehru said, 'We have looked closely at Mr. Dimbleby's actions and his ramblings, sorry, statement and have concluded he may have a point. No charges will be brought.'
Jonathan Dimbleby, David's younger brother, was quoted as saying, 'David was a problem child, always dressing in gang colours. He got involved in a controversial dinner society at Cambridge and they have supported him since. Where do you think he got the AK-47 from? From them, The Bully Boys, roaming the streets of Kensington smashing the windows of any vehicle that isn't a supercar.'
Jonathan also had these words of warning: 'All I can say is that Galloway better watch his back next week.'