Talks between Yanis Varoufakis, greek finance minister, and eurocrat negotiators have broken down.
Gerhard Erdinger, the German chief negotiator said 'Honestly, we are going to give ground and renegotiate the debt. But the longer we stretch this out the more chance we have to go to Greece to negotiate. And I love lamb kleftiko! It's so much nicer than schnitzel.'
And Thyrsa van Houten, Dutch head negotiator said 'Have you seen Yanis Varoufakis? He's gorgeous! If we get to go to Greece I am going to insist that talks take place on the beach and that he is wearing speedos. And I get to oil him up.'
She continued 'If he lets me touch his pecs, he can have our entire weed crop. That should make them a fortune.'
