JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books and constant victim of obsession with her every written word has a new BBC adaptation released today.
After realising she needed a personal assistant on an ad hoc basis, she posted an advert for a casual vacancy on Gumtree.
Nutters at the BBC commissioning office, responsible for Pets Win Prizes, created a 6 part drama based around the advert.
'It's madness', she said. 'I made a non-fiction book within a fictional universe called 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' and they're making a hollywood movie out of it.'
She continued, 'My old university CV was made into a one off drama. And my Tesco recipts have been made into a web series. What the fuck is going on?!?'
Channel 4 films have approached The Morning Gerald for the TV rights to this interview but we declined on account of them being mental.
