Compassionate conservative David Cameron has said that not only will the obese lose benefits but northerners will too.
Speaking today at a meeting of the Commission for Proletariat Punishment he said 'It is important we use both a carrot and stick approach. It worked for me in boarding school. First they inserted the carrot then they whacked it home with a stick.'
He continued 'After all the fatties have worked off their bulk we will move onto northerners and force them to speak properly. Then we will hunt down any non tory voter and beat them with whiff-whaff bats. It's a proven technique that anyone privately educated can tell you about.'
Mark Smith of the ACA (Anti Cunt Alliance) said 'With all his dodgy donors we can't compete. He is finally finishing what Thatcher started and dehumanising anyone who isn't from Chipping Norton. What a cunt.'
